Reflections and Ramblings of a Not-So-Superwoman

I don't remember exactly how old I was that Christmas. What I do remember is my parents constant fighting and my father frequently packing his bags and leaving. He would usually return at some point and the cycle would begin anew. I spent a lot of time in my room, sitting in my closet. I liked my closet, there was safety and peace to be found there. I had a record player in my room and would play the song, Please Come Home For Christmas again and again. I somehow found comfort in the song. You may think I would dislike this song now, as an adult child of a Daddy who one day did pack up and didn't return. Instead, it remains a favorite. It doesn't remind me of pain, but of comfort.



"So won't you tell me, you'll never more roam. Christmas and New Year will find you home. There'll be no more sorrow, no grief and pain and I'll be happy, Christmas once again."

I still find comfort in song. I was listening to Please Come Home For Christmas on my iPod this morning and it was set to play songs alphabetically. The next two songs after this childhood comfort were two that comfort me today as an adult. When I realized how perfectly they answered my cry of years ago, I was brought to tears.



"Were hearts made whole, just to break?...You know, you pray, this can't be the way. You cry, you say, something's got to change and mend this porcelain heart of mine...Creator, only you take brokenness and create it into beauty once again."



"And every tear I've cried, you hold in your hand. You've never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in the storm...I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth."

I now have a Daddy that will not leave my side. No matter how many people pack up and walk away, he is with me and is my ultimate comfort and strength. He has even healed my relationship with my earthly Daddy, who now also finds his strength and comfort in his Heavenly Father.

Songs are the sermons to my heart. May my morning reflections somehow bless you as well.

These are tight economic times for everyone. My nickname may be Latte Lori but sometimes even I must forgo the latte and order the plain coffee. Such was the case two days ago when running an errand in Hyannis. I felt the need for a coffee (I was merely doing my part for world peace) but was feeling the financial crunch. This is how I found myself sitting at the red light where the aforementioned man begs yearly, feeling all self sacrificing for drinking regular coffee.

The sweeping background music of my life played softly in the background and I suddenly realized the selfishness of my ways. Money may be tight, but I was able to buy that coffee and I had a roof over my head, food for the table, and a Christmas tree in my living room. I am blessed beyond measure. I may not know this man's story, I thought to myself, but that didn't mean I couldn't give of what I have in his time of need. I was literally reaching for my wallet, intent on giving him the five dollars I had not spent on a latte, when he reached into his pocket and...

Answered his cell phone.

The money stayed in my wallet, my cynicism returned, and all is right with the world once again.

I did it!!! I managed to write my 50,000 words in 30 days, which brings me to a total of 70,122 words in this story. I probably have another ten thousand words to go before finishing the story and then another ten thousand edits to go through. But I made it and it was tough and at the last minute and feels like an accomplishment.

I didn't do it!!! My goal for November was to post something on this blog at least once a week. You know, a slow intro back into the world of blogging. Even if I was blogging about nothing, at least I was blogging something. Er...yeah. You know what I mean.

One goal met, at the expense of the other. NaNo only comes once a year, I can try, try again with the blogging.

Even though I have nothing spectacular to say, I am trying to get back into blogging by making myself post something here at least once a week. I'm hoping this somehow jump starts me or let's my muse know I need a return visit or...something. So another week, another post of rambling nonsense.

Updates of updates: Coffee pot works and I love it. BJ's had Coffeemate Peppermint Mocha and I love it. Good coffee is available at all times and I love it. So there you have it.

Kevin went back to Boston and they removed the cast and put on a brace for more mobility. He fell in the bathroom yesterday and was in quite a lot of pain but otherwise is doing pretty well. Another trip to Boston next week for follow up.

New news: I'm terribly sad right now that someone I care about and have invested in is turning his back on everything and everyone. To walk away from your family like this disgusts me. Work it out, boy, work it out.

I'm terribly annoyed that the same guy who begs in the same spot every fall and winter in Hyannis is back. I am not heartless and have been known to give all the cash on me to someone begging on the street corner. In fact, my husband worries at times that he'll find me dead by the side of the road because I pulled over for the wrong person. Sometimes life happens and people find themselves somewhere they never imagined and they need help. I want to help these people. But when I see a guy year after year begging on Cape Cod during the off season, it brings out my cynical side. I'm not about to support someone who begs in order to bum around on the beach. Not sure what his story is but this is the impression it gives me. Maybe I should pull over and ask him next time. Hmmm...

I'm terribly excited about this coming week. The holiday season is officially here and this week brings Thanksgiving with friends on Sunday, a homeschool party, baking, trip to my mom's for turkey and all the fixings, Santa closing the Macy's parade and bringing in the Christmas season (in my mind anyway), Black Friday shopping with friends, the search for the perfect Christmas tree with the kids, my birthday (not sure if I'm all that excited about getting older though), Christmas decorating all weekend, singing carols by the tree and drinking eggnog. FUN!!

I'm terribly concerned but giddy about finishing my NaNo novel during all of these festivities! I am on track but it will be difficult to stay focused this week and find time to work. It's been a lot of fun though and the Write-Ins this year have been a lot of fun. We've had chocolate and coffee and craziness. Our leader has issued a space pirate challenge and then followed that up with singing a pirate song in the Border's coffeeshop- while wearing a pirate hat. Our last get together prompted questions galore for some reason, lots of people interested in why we sat in Starbucks with our laptops. One very funny moment where a gay couple walked by and one of them said, "Oooo, it's a laptop party." with a flick of his wrist. Someone asked what he said so I repeated his words, complete with the wrist motion. He hurried on over to me and said, "Oh, no, Honey. if you're going to do it, you have to do it right. You need a little more in the wrist and the hip when you say it." I assured him I wasn't making fun of him but merely repeating what he said for someone who hadn't heard him (I would never want to be rude!). He seemed to take it all in good fun and again demonstrated the right way to shake the hips and flick the wrist. It was hilarious. And he gave us a jovial, "Bye ladies!" as he left. Still cracks me up to think of it.

I'm terribly long winded once I start writing a post! Enough rambling for now...

We've had more adventure this month. My fourteen year old flipped a Go-Kart Sunday afternoon and broke his upper left arm straight through. After being transferred from the Cape to Children's Hospital in Boston via ambulance for prospective surgery, they decided to go ahead and try a cast with a neck sling instead. Of course, this was a twelve hour process because nothing happens quickly in hospitals. We're thankful to have a great one in our back yard though, so no complaints.

Well, maybe a few complaints. Like the fact that our camera is still broken and hasn't been replaced and no one with a good camera phone was there to commemorate the moment. I have a photo on my phone but no idea how to get it off the phone and onto the Internet. I'm phone challenged.

And the fact that I must admit to getting older, as the doctors and nurses seemed sooo young (Yes, Carri Ann, the whole Doogie Howser thing was true!) and I still don't feel fully recovered from the all nighter in the ER.

And those hard plastic chairs. If we have to sit in a room all night, could we at least have something a tad more comfortable? Just a thought.

So now he is a one-armed typer, still intent on completing his NaNo novel by the end of the month. If he can do, I will be super impressed. Maybe I'll start referring to him as Is-So-Superteen. Or not.

In other news, my coffee machine broke and I ordered a new one on ebay. A fancy, shiny one at half the cost because it's refurbished. I've had success with re-furbished products before and was hoping this would be a good thing. 'Cause coffee is a good thing.

No luck. I received it today minus the promised gold tone filter and with a hopper that won't lock, rendering the unit useless. The seller is Top Seller Rated and has a 100% Feedback rating, so I am hopeful he will make it right. Stay tuned.

The NaNo novel continues. I had hit a writer's block and decided to write through it with an extraneous scene involving a regular, fun day for my MC who rarely has any fun. Lo and behold, a new character showed up and somehow the plot moved forward when least expected. Hmmm. Somehow writing nonsense works. Which is a good thing because the challenge of the day is to add space pirates into the story. Can I make it fit the plot? We shall see.

I still have reviews to write as well. I've been disappointed in several products this year and feel like such a scrooge when I write negative reviews. I have to be honest though, or the reviews are pretty much worthless. So Scrooge I remain. I do have a couple of positive ones soon though. Yay for liking things!

My daughter is weird. I knew this already but there is yet more evidence. We took our 16 year old and 12 year old to the eye doctors yesterday. The 12 year old is nearsighted, no surprise there as both his parents are as well. But my daughter? She has one nearsighted eye and one farsighted eye. Who knew? Poor girl can't see coming or going. In a week she'll discover the world is no longer beautifully fuzzy. But she will be able to read her own subtitles, so there's that.

I haven't reflected or rambled in a very long time. I'm in the midst of reading the book, A Novel Idea (review to come, there's my commercial), and as I was reading today I came across the encouragement to make time to write, even if you have nothing to say. I haven't had much to say in awhile and what words I have are being used up by my reviewing. Bah, I still have words left. I'm female after all. But I haven't felt motivated to find the spare moments to blog.

But here I am. Blogging about nothing, but blogging.

So what's on my mind today? Scheduling for one. I am schedule resistant. I want to run with the wind, go with the flow, move with whatever whim the day brings. I've discovered with home schooling that having some kind of schedule to fall back on actually gives me more freedom. I can pick up our Sonlight Teacher's Guide and decide to read the entire week's worth of history one day, the week's read aloud another day, and science the next. Which is actually what we did this week. So maybe I need to develop some kind of blogging schedule. A day where I have to write anything or nothing on this blog. Just because.

There could be freedom in that.

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, is also on my mind. I am at it once again. Last year at this time was when I became ill and couldn't continue with my 50,ooo words in one month. So this year I am picking that story back up and writing 50,ooo more words. And my five youngest kids are joining me. My 14 year old is going for the full 50,000. My younger kids have created their own goals on the Young Writers site. We're having a lot more fun with it than I could have imagined. Today we challenged each other to Word Wars. This may become a November family affair.

Cigarettes are also on my mind. Not to smoke them, I never was a smoker actually. What I'm trying to understand is why anyone would pick up the habit today? Not only do we now know they cause cancer but the suckers are expensive! I was standing behind a guy at BJ's yesterday when he bought a carton of cigarettes. $65. Sixty. Five. Dollars. That's just nuts. Is it really worth your health and your wallet?

I'm not seeing it.

Coffee is good though. And frequently on my mind. And in my hand.

So there you have it. Reflections and Ramblings of the woman who's Not-So-Super.

Until next time...

I finally posted about our first day of school on my review blog and thought some of my personal blog readers may be interested. First Day of School- A Month Late.

I wanted to update on Jake as well. He had the tube removed and is back to work and play. He does have to take it easy, as there is a 50/50 chance it will re-collapse in the next thirty days. But so far, so good!